Sorry for not checking back in with all of you sooner than this 🙂
To answer the question, do i still run with my hardware, the answer is yes. I was told that my hardware is there for good and will never be removed. Having said that, I was told by Doctor #2 that while i would experience pain, structurally the repair was sound. I was also told the same by doctor #3 when I had my meniscus repaired in that same knee during my 2nd surgery. I spent thousands of dollars of my own money on out of pocket expenses that my insurance wouldn’t cover. But, this is my leg and my life and therefore it was worth every penny to me. I’m still paying off bills.
Here are some of the things that i’ve gone through that Doctor’s don’t tell you about. Please don’t see this stuff as negative as I want to keep a positive spin on this post. See it as factual experience.
– My knee feels like a block of wood or “chunky” as i like to say. Some days there are spots that are numb. Over the 2.5 years, this has gotten much better and most day’s it feels almost “normal” now.
– I can now kneel down on both knees, without too much pain. This took quite a while to do. I still can’t sit on my heels though. To do this, i have to kick my left leg out to the side and be in more of a crouch.
– I have more trust in my knee as i’ve put it to the test. I hike in the Adirondack Mountains, snowshoe, XC ski and just got back to my snowboard this past winter.
– I could not live without going to my chiropractor the first 6mo after i started walking again. My knee affected my back, other knee, hips/pelvis, ankles and feet. In short, everything changed because of the way i now walk. This takes time to get used to. After 2.5 years things are better, but i still have bad days. My left foot (same side as surgery) felt like a bag of crushed bones being held together by my foot skin for the longest time. I’ve not been able to explain this feeling to anyone, they just look at me like i’m crazy when i describe it. Superfeet Green Orthodics…my savior in my running shoes 🙂
– I’m just starting to be able to jump rope again. Prior to my injury, i loved doing this as a warmup. It’s been discouraging to say the least.
– Jumping or doing trail runs terify me. Physically i could probably do it, but mentally i’m still not ready after 2.5 years.
– My left leg atrophy was absolutely disgusting. It looked like i had an adult leg and a childs leg. While i’m still not 1:1, my muscle is coming back and getting much better. Regaining muscle in my left leg has eased some of the other pain/discomfort i’ve experienced in other area’s.
– There have been times where it feels like the metal in my knee has heated up and is actually burning me from the inside out. this is rare but extremely painful and there’s nothing i can do about it.
– Some days my knee just aches when the weather changes or a front moves in.
Not knowing the particular situation or the amount of pain that each of you are going through, i can’t tell you what to do or how much to do it. What i can say from my experience is that i push through a lot of pain, but i’m also at the point where i know what is normal pain and what is new or different pain that i have to stop and “listen to”. Each of you have to get to this point on your own.
You are never going to be the pre-surgery you and the sooner that you accept that the easier it is to move on. NOW, that doesn’t mean that you have to settle and it doesn’t mean that the “new” you isn’t a better verion of the “old” you. Personally, this injury has taught me how important the journey is and to stop focusing on the end results. I know that sounds cliche, but it couldn’t be more true for me.
On the tough days I smile to myself and i’m thankful that i have my legs.
Keep working hard and stay positive 🙂